By the Waters of Kadesh by Carole Towriss

Author:Carole Towriss [Towriss, Carole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: By the waters of kadesh, Christian fiction, deward publishing, carole towriss, biblical fiction, in the shadow of Sinai, towriss, deward, historical fiction
Publisher: DeWard Publishing Company, Ltd.
Published: 2014-04-23T04:00:00+00:00

Kamose turned at the sound of crunching sand.

“I’ve found hitting things gets rid of anger far better than staring at them.” Bezalel came alongside Kamose, searching the water with him.

Kamose allowed himself a half smile at Bezalel’s comment. “Probably. But I choose not to abuse my body as you did for the sake of anger.”

Bezalel chuckled as he rubbed the brutal scar down his left arm. “Good point.”

Kamose sighed loudly. “What do you want, Bezalel?”

“Well, Tirzah’s in her tent with Meri, crying, again, and you’re out here staring at waterbirds.”

Kamose squeezed his eyes shut. “She’s crying?”

“She is convinced you do not want her.”

Kamose growled as he rolled his shoulders and stared at the sky.

“I take it that’s not true.”

Kamose exhaled a long breath. “Of course not. It is I who am not worthy of her.”

Bezalel let a silent moment pass before he continued. “Why not?”

Kamose studied the sand under his feet. “My past … is not … honorable.”

“Kamose, I’ve known you for two years. You are the most honorable man I know.”

“Not when it comes to women.”

Bezalel scoffed. “I’ve never seen you treat a woman with anything less than dignity and respect.”

“I do, and always have, respected women. But Egyptians do not regard relationships between men and women as sacred as you. When I was younger, there were many women. It was part of being a soldier. I cannot possibly expect her to understand that.”

Bezalel lifted one shoulder. “Perhaps. You love her, don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter. I am not good for her.”

“Don’t you think that’s for her to decide?”

“No. She doesn’t have all the facts. I have to make the decision for her.”

“But you are no longer that person. Don’t you think a relationship should be based on who you are now?”

Kamose remained silent. The thought was so tempting. “How can I ask her to accept everything I am, everything I have done? Is that fair to her?”

“Maybe she’ll accept it, maybe she won’t.” Bezalel turned to face Kamose, and spoke only when he caught his eyes. “I can only say to you what you once told me. Talk to her. She loves you. Or she wouldn’t be crying.”

As Bezalel retreated, Kamose pondered the sting of having his own words tossed back at him. Was Bezalel right? Was there a chance Tirzah would understand? Forgive him? Even if she did, would that be the best thing for her? Or would she be better off if he left her alone and let her find a good Israelite man to care for her? The questions kept coming, and he had no answers.

He hooked his hands around his neck and raised his eyes to the sky. He paced as he ran through the questions again and again. Moses had said to do whatever Yahweh placed before him. Tend sheep. Well, he tried that. He’d tried to help a widow, and all it had done was bring them both trouble. Actually, it wasn’t the helping that had brought him trouble, it was his heart. He should have kept his heart under tighter control.

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